Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
