Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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