Who did Billy Mays play for?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
