Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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