Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
