The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
