he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
