You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
