This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
