found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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