I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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