He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't deserve a penis
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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