I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
