its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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