NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
