just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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