he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
