Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
