haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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