Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
