Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
