I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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