Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
