His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
