he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
