no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
