We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
