i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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