Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
