its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
