oh god the rape fog is back!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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