we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
