i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
