She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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