I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think I am morally bankrupt
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
