I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
