I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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