hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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