I'm drive I can fine osifer
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
