it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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