There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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