weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
