What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
