you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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