haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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