I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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