I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
