My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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