but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
