May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
