So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
